Dear Joy-Sucking Risk Management Department,
Thank you for your comprehensive list of prohbited activities to be conducted in, on, or around a loft bed. I realize some people may be dense, and need to be told that it is unsafe to hang oneself from said loft bed, and that it is wise to indicate age restrictions for use, as well as extremely handy to know the maximum weight-bearing capacity of this piece of furniture.
What I'm not sure you recognize is the unsightly nature of the 4x6 inch sticker placed centrally on the headboard of the bed, and not on the side designed to face the wall. You may also be unaware that there are available low-tack adhesives that make good decals for products that are not aesthetically enhanced by price tags and warning labels. If you've ever bought a book, you're probably familiar with these. On second thought, this might be too esoteric an example.
Fortunately, I learned my housekeeping skills from people who were born before Billy Mays or Goo-Gone were household names, and know that mineral oil and 20 minutes of patient scraping with the blunt side of a razor blade will remove most traces of your industrial strength adhesive. But thanks for nothing, anyway.
Slightly Annoyed Customer